What happens When You Stop Living From Your Wounds & Live From Spirit?

Are you ready?

Do you have an open mind?

Are you willing to do the unthinkable?

Dare Shall I Ask  how to stop living from My WOunds? 

Let GO!

Release it all!

Do NOT look back per say.  Allow the lesson, forgive and move along.  Hiding was another way of not stepping into my own power to shine.  Yes, insert  MEGA SIGH!!

One Step at a time

I personally had enough of what was being stated.  Being told what to do.  So, do you know what I did?

I said,  “ENOUGH!!”

All the things that held me back, did not work for me and plan just being tired of  being told what to do.

I wrote; I wrote the first book with me present in it.  My other books, have a small piece here or there, but do not really let you see into me.

This one does, gasp!!  Eek, I am letting people see the mess that I was being by trying  to hide the wounds.  Then again, that means, I was stopping me from being the true me; as I had to look at the good, the bad and the down right scary pieces of which are me.

How can I live from Spirit?

The biggest part to all of it.  Was stepping back, letting go and saying good bye to my wounds.  That does not mean that it was all easy peazy or that I still have work to do. It means that I disallowed my wounded ego to rule me.

What happens When You Stop Living From Your Wounds & Live From Spirit?

When Egos Feed 

Start in the Dark Workbook

When I began to dance with spirit, my life shifted into the miraculous being of which I truly am. I saw myself for the first time in years, I crept up and viewed her as if she is a delicate flower-just beginning to blossom.  Partly unsure what to do or how to proceed.

This took time, patience and so many tears to cleanse me.  When the damn broke the water poured forth in a massive manner.

If I can do it so can you

At one point, I felt lifeless, a lost hope, just felt like giving up from all the dark struggles that I had to face.  Spirit was relentless and did not give up on me.

I kept hearing over and over,

“Never Give Up!

You are more than worth it!

You are everything!

You are your most valuable treasure!”

Slowly, I could feel death knocking on my door.  No, not suicide.  The old patterns that blocked me, needed to die, a fire was set and out of the rubble of ashes a phoenix within me rose.

I share in “When Egos Feed” & “Start in the Dark,” how I found the courage to be me!

And by golly so can you!!

Oodles of Love & Magical Blessings, 

Natasha 

Natasha Botkin, Master Teacher & Intuitive Behavioral Energy Healer, is a #1 international bestselling author and Shiny Gold Star Quest creator.  As a Dark Heart Teacher, she uses healing soul psychology energies when working with youth and adults by releasing patterns & blocks to help them empower themselves.  Connect with me Magical Blessings Healing Center.

Dancing When I Want to Hide

adams-family-love imageOne moment we are happily dancing and the next moment I am dancing when I want to hide, as my BeLoved and I are conversing about a subject.  Before I know it, the words have leaked out one of our mouths.  After all, he is comfortable in his next statement.  As for me, I am coiling backwards.  For the most part, I cannot breathe, I want to scream and I can feel.  Wait!  That’s it, I feel!  I step into my emotions and allow the feelings to flow.  My eyelids fluttering fast and furious, as I realize that the tears will come. Therefore, I will not stop them; something is happening.  I am calming, breathing, and even though I cannot look at him,  I know that I am alright.

His statement had absolutely nothing to do with me.  Consequently, it belonged solely to him, and he was not about to back down from it.  Fortunately, he is happy that he was able to express this to me; he is happy that he felt safe enough to say it to me.  What is happening?  Ugh, really are we drifting to another life, mine or his or both as this is not our first rodeo together.

OH NO!  Where Can I Hide?

As I sit and observe the world around me.  He sits with me.  Oh great, a test: mine, his or both. Really Angels, okay.  I am feeling much better then, wham, he says something else.  UGH! REALLY, WHY are you challenging me like this, is all I could think of, wait….stop thinking.    

Again I feel like crawling under a rock and hiding from what I am about to face.  A mega insecurity, and he knows it.  Darn it!   Next, I see the glint of a light shining above me; it’s the sweet angels coming and sitting with me, “Girl, you’ve got this!  Come on!  Time to Rock it Out!

No, Please Do Not Make Me Relive This!

Part of me hears a current song, “Same Old Love,” by Selena Gomez.  The other part of me is the fragmentation of a past life who wants to be heard.  “I don’t believe you left me in pieces…too hard to breath. I’m so sick of the same old love. I’m so sick of how this tears me up.”

 Oh no!

Here they come, the tears.  I allow them to flow.  As I am trying to breathe,  the past floods and fills my eyes like a cascading  waterfall.  My BeLoved sits and waits.  Does he realize what is happening?  Does he realize I am releasing both of our past lives.  Fortunately, he sits tapping his keys; he wants to get out and finish the errand, and yet, he sits.

I feel as I am flying and wondering if time has stopped, however, I see that the world around me spins.  I am in between spaces of times, the notion that past and present collide and intercede one another.  She will be heard; her voice is strong;  “I am so sick of that love…please let me leave, I cannot stay; you do not deserve my pain and anger.”  My tears flowing as to what this dear girl endured and knowing that she is finally coming into a state of peace.

With her release, she is giving me my life to a fuller, freer love.  Captivity is no more.  She is let go; free from her painful tormentors.  I say a prayer, smile at our reflection in the window.  The four of us have quite a story.  As I am returning to the present, I hear the tap of my BeLoved’s keys; one of his hands is on the door knob; he stirs.

Rocking Our World 

Rock it I did!  Inhale, tears fall and my words come forth.  My BeLoved smiles at me, we go deeper into the conversation and energetically high five one another.  No words need to be spoken; my recovery into the dance of which we are,

Score one mega hit for Me and so sorry for the insecurity that did not even belong to me; it was from another and her feelings intertwining within me.   Releasing, letting go and dancing for all to see.

Here’s the direct link for a past life healing or soul retrieval. 

Much Love and Magical Blessings, 

Natasha 

Here is where to find me: 

Natasha Publicty PhotoNatasha Botkin, Master Teacher & Intuitive Energy Healer and #1 International Best Selling Author and creator of Reclaiming Your Power, Empower Your Words and Heart Meditative Writing. Gifted with the divine wisdom of guiding one transforming heart and soul with passion, creative play and healing energies.  Natasha works closely with  Youth & Adults  by using all the elements (Fire, Water, Air, Earth, Spirit) from a multi-dimensional healing of energies releasing patterns and blocks by helping one to shine their light and empower them.

Unclearing the Path of the Past

By Natasha Botkin

It all began with a small voice, “We need you.”  It seemed as if it was one voice, then the it became more evident that it was many voices complied into one small voice.

Sitting in absolute silence, the clang of a windchime, the hollows of the breeze, the voices are stronger- an ache, a pain that I did not understand.  “We know you can hear us, you are tuning in much more clearly. Please we need you, please come forward.”

A few days later, a kind neighbor asked why I didn’t request my son to help me.  I knew this was not for him.  It is for me.  He cannot partake in what I was about to go through.

My old gardening tools of the trade would not suffice.  They were not sharp enough.  To clear this path I needed a new tool.  Not to replace my Great Grandfather’s hand shears, I adore so much, rather the essence – that I needed something that would have long handles. I was about to step into something dark, big and quite scary.

To another it looks as if I am pruning and trimming an overgrown rose-bush, and I am.  What one could not see are the energies of the ladies before me.  Those who were murder for their wealth, knowledge and gifts.  For so long, violent death after violent death and they were woven into a thicket.

Let’s define what a thicket is.  According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary: a group of bushes that grow close together.  If you have ever happened upon a true thicket,  then you are aware that this is thick, intertwined and one cannot simply pass through it. Rather one must chop it.

I gathered the necessary tools, thick gloves and long sleeves for this release.  The first snip was massively scary as I hear the hallow of the screams.  Screams of pain, and then delightful cheers, “She is really going to do this, she is freeing us of the pain.  In order to free herself, she has to free us. Natasha, you can do it! You were once fearless, please, please do not stop, dear girl keep going for us, more so for you.”

Each snip, clip and prick of the thorns snarled into me and catapulted my breathing into a panic. The angels and faeries surrounding me in the form of marvelous creatures.  Aww, my sweet mama jay sitting, watching me. An unknown bird ribbits deep from within the rose-bush. The animal kingdom joining me, I am not alone, I am surrounded in a container of love.

This is the rhythm that emerges. “Ouch, how could a thorn get stuck in my skin in that manner?”  Clip, snip: entanglement, entrapment,  the thicket so strong.  I have not ever seen a rose-bush grow in this manner before.  Just last year it was voluminous and shown this spectacular showing of pink blossoms where the dragonflies and ladybugs danced.

Ever so careful;  and yet, Clip, snip, “Ouch!!” Became the theme. Clip, snip gently pull the dead cane. Snip, clip, “Ouch!”  Each snip, each clip, each thorn stuck in my skin shows me the way of my past.  The dead cane a symbol of the ladies who need released; I ponder, “if I had a burn barrel,” and quickly dispose of this idea as I reside in the city that most likely had a burn ban in effect.  Plus ,there are the groans of the ladies who were burned for their gifts.

I chuckle to myself wondering where Bambi may be within the thicket.  Nonetheless, I keep going,  hours pass.  I am amazed at the difference of the size and the cane. Where it seems dead, the tips reveal growth; proving it is not as dead as it seems.

Clip, snip, “Ouch!” There is less of the ouch, and yet one thorn sticks Deep in my arm; I still have a mark, will it stay as a scar, only time will tell.  There is laughter and giggles.  The yard is filled with so many animals. The love they are providing for me, for my past, for the pain, the shame, the guilt that these beautiful ladies had to endure.  “Natasha, you are right; it’s time to get it right in this lifetime.  The gifts and medicines that you carry are amazing. We are so glad that you are fearless.”

At that moment, I set down my shears and cried, “I used to be so fearless. When did the fear embrace me. When did my kingdom become so overgrown, why am I hiding?”  Their past, my past it is all coming up together entwined, entangled as one- we are one: I am them, they are me; it is our past that needs healed.  It is time for forgiveness of those who wronged us, the mistakes we made. The worst of all me; the shame and guilt that I hid and held so deep an openly weeping wound.  The attempts to hide and keep a secret.  This no longer matters, what matters is clearing and releasing.

The ladies  dance around me, I can feel them.  They are free.  The path clear.  A dragonfly entices me with the most magical dance. The newly hatched ladybugs are basking in the sunlight.  The yard seems lighter, more open.  Then the truth; it was a mistake.  The thicket is the symbolism of confusion.  A metaphoric state of bewilderment: an entanglement ensnared in Turmoil. Due to a stressful moments in my life,  I made mistakes out of confusion. Some of this is the past lives entangling themselves into a woven thicket creating the state of confusion; some of this is my past that ensnared and entrapped me at one point.  Together we are free, our path is clear. Where I am going and what I am doing is all deliciously unfolding into a euphoric reverie of divinely magical blessings.  As my heart sings to me, “Tune in dear girl and just wait until you see and feel the wonderment that awaits you.”

May you hear the tune in your heart, clear your path and move forward in the most magical way.

Much Love, Much Light and Magical Blessings,

Natasha