Dancing When I Want to Hide

adams-family-love imageOne moment we are happily dancing and the next moment I am dancing when I want to hide, as my BeLoved and I are conversing about a subject.  Before I know it, the words have leaked out one of our mouths.  After all, he is comfortable in his next statement.  As for me, I am coiling backwards.  For the most part, I cannot breathe, I want to scream and I can feel.  Wait!  That’s it, I feel!  I step into my emotions and allow the feelings to flow.  My eyelids fluttering fast and furious, as I realize that the tears will come. Therefore, I will not stop them; something is happening.  I am calming, breathing, and even though I cannot look at him,  I know that I am alright.

His statement had absolutely nothing to do with me.  Consequently, it belonged solely to him, and he was not about to back down from it.  Fortunately, he is happy that he was able to express this to me; he is happy that he felt safe enough to say it to me.  What is happening?  Ugh, really are we drifting to another life, mine or his or both as this is not our first rodeo together.

OH NO!  Where Can I Hide?

As I sit and observe the world around me.  He sits with me.  Oh great, a test: mine, his or both. Really Angels, okay.  I am feeling much better then, wham, he says something else.  UGH! REALLY, WHY are you challenging me like this, is all I could think of, wait….stop thinking.    

Again I feel like crawling under a rock and hiding from what I am about to face.  A mega insecurity, and he knows it.  Darn it!   Next, I see the glint of a light shining above me; it’s the sweet angels coming and sitting with me, “Girl, you’ve got this!  Come on!  Time to Rock it Out!

No, Please Do Not Make Me Relive This!

Part of me hears a current song, “Same Old Love,” by Selena Gomez.  The other part of me is the fragmentation of a past life who wants to be heard.  “I don’t believe you left me in pieces…too hard to breath. I’m so sick of the same old love. I’m so sick of how this tears me up.”

 Oh no!

Here they come, the tears.  I allow them to flow.  As I am trying to breathe,  the past floods and fills my eyes like a cascading  waterfall.  My BeLoved sits and waits.  Does he realize what is happening?  Does he realize I am releasing both of our past lives.  Fortunately, he sits tapping his keys; he wants to get out and finish the errand, and yet, he sits.

I feel as I am flying and wondering if time has stopped, however, I see that the world around me spins.  I am in between spaces of times, the notion that past and present collide and intercede one another.  She will be heard; her voice is strong;  “I am so sick of that love…please let me leave, I cannot stay; you do not deserve my pain and anger.”  My tears flowing as to what this dear girl endured and knowing that she is finally coming into a state of peace.

With her release, she is giving me my life to a fuller, freer love.  Captivity is no more.  She is let go; free from her painful tormentors.  I say a prayer, smile at our reflection in the window.  The four of us have quite a story.  As I am returning to the present, I hear the tap of my BeLoved’s keys; one of his hands is on the door knob; he stirs.

Rocking Our World 

Rock it I did!  Inhale, tears fall and my words come forth.  My BeLoved smiles at me, we go deeper into the conversation and energetically high five one another.  No words need to be spoken; my recovery into the dance of which we are,

Score one mega hit for Me and so sorry for the insecurity that did not even belong to me; it was from another and her feelings intertwining within me.   Releasing, letting go and dancing for all to see.

Here’s the direct link for a past life healing or soul retrieval. 

Much Love and Magical Blessings, 


Here is where to find me: 

Natasha Publicty PhotoNatasha Botkin, Master Teacher & Intuitive Energy Healer and #1 International Best Selling Author and creator of Reclaiming Your Power, Empower Your Words and Heart Meditative Writing. Gifted with the divine wisdom of guiding one transforming heart and soul with passion, creative play and healing energies.  Natasha works closely with  Youth & Adults  by using all the elements (Fire, Water, Air, Earth, Spirit) from a multi-dimensional healing of energies releasing patterns and blocks by helping one to shine their light and empower them.

21 Days Positive Affirmation Discovery

By  Natasha Botkin 

Gate to God's GardenIn the last few blogs, I’ve brought forward the discussion of projection and positive mindfulness. Let us be projections and projectors of love to me, to you, to we.  As we are all beautifully interconnected.

I was going through a deep healing from my divinely chosen dangerous assignment, and ladled with a deep darkness that seemed unrelenting.  During this time, I knew that I needed to create a more positive mindset, but no matter what I was choosing, it was not working.

Then, it was like the divine looked down and said, “A-ha our dear girl needs help, she can succeed.” WIth that I went on a personal discovery,  created and  found my way back to the light. Out of this moment and discovery is the 21 Days Positive Affirmations Discovery that unfolded for me.

This is an e-course that heralds writing, photography, nature, meditations and a step by step manner to help one walk with their illuminating heart and soul by releasing the negative energies, patterns and blocks that may stand in your way.

Click on the link to begin the step to discovering your radiance.

Click to Begin Your Discovery

Much Love, Much Light and Magical Blessings Each and Every Dear Heart, 


Innovative Creative Energy

by Natasha Botkin 

One thing is for sure, “being” part of a group does not have to be unnecessarily complex.  How often have you heard or felt that “you just do not belong mentality or energetically festered in your presence?”  Many individuals do not realize that energy is energy and The person this is aimed at, can feel it.

I was born to stand out!! 

Innovative individuals are not always revered by the norm. 

In fact, this is old paradigm.  A minion type of protocol.  So, many are doing the same thing.  It is almost like standing in a sea of school fish all swimming in unison, and here I am shining in a quirky, Unique manner.

Sounds bitter right, not At all.  Contrary to an old belief those who are meant to shine will shine-if they can move past the angst.  It is the old that pulls people down.  The new shift will move the old, and those who are not prepared will then become the shattered.

Angel with heart rose

What is an innovative spirit? 

Do not ever feel bad.  Dr Seuss’ first draft was rejected 27 times and he was going to burn it; when a voice said, “Try just one more time.”  It was that time when he was accepted and became a child’s author, loved by millions.

Sometimes people are just not ready to see, to hear, to feel , to be part of an innovation. They are of the old, and if you are part of the new; then that is where the wedge lies. Saddest part is that most of the time, they are not even aware of their mentality nor old Belief-they believe they are the norm and right.  

My higher self Just recently had a conversation with me me Bothered by the energy of she’s not like us.  It can seem like a rejection. It is not a rejection per say, and it was never about me-it never was.  it is them rejecting the lessons that I bring.



An innovative spirit is known to think outside of the box, or the illusion of a box.  Do not fret, do not worry.   If they do not get it, it is their loss.

Be that pillar, shine and shout from your mountain!

Never ever give up!  Souls know no time,  and divine timing is always on time.  

Be sure to listen to your heart’s whispers and try one more time.  

Much Love, Much Light and Magical Blessings,